The anticipation of hurt readies you. The expectation of hurt destroys you.
Learn to be okay with hurting. It doesn’t mean it is right or just that there is hurt in the wourlde. It just means that Love is stronger than pain and anger. Love is powerful enough to not grow stagnant in these dark, bitter places we must go through.
Learning to be okay with hurting means that hurt is not all there is or ever will be. If there is hurt, we can also have hope that there is healing. Give yourself the grace to start being okay with hurting. It is not a mental preparation for the worst – it is a readiness and acceptance that though you cannot outrun every storm, Love will not let you go in the ones you do walk through. It is, in essence, a sort of faith that there is Something more powerful than the storm.
You cannot brush aside the fact that if we have no hope, that we grow very dark within. Without light, we do not merely become shadows – we become the essence of nothingness and of darkness itself. Darkness seems like a safe place to hide until it begins to gnaw at the injuries you already have. Darkness hides, but it does not heal. Light reveals, shelters, and sooths.
If you run from hurt your whole life, you will only end up stalling that sting until it festers, boils over, explodes, and hurts you in the most painful way possible. You will not escape hurt – you will only hurt yourself. You will live in constant fear and anxiety.
You cannot accept the healing until you have accepted the wound.
Do not take all this as being a pessimist. You are not the only one to hurt. That is true. Suffering pervades many areas of life for everyone, in some way. Some experience it more than others. Karma? God? Fate? Whatever you believe, unless you are enshrouded in some opium-induced façade of utopia, it is unavoidable that there is hurt in this wourlde. Explain it away, run from it, fight it, ignore it – it is all the same. Hurt will come back for you.
So how will you deal with it then? Give up? Stop trying?
I hope to do all I can to prevent whatever hurt comes my way….but the pain that I cannot prevent or escape, I will accept….because I know that, if I allow myself to hurt, I can also allow myself to heal. Perhaps that is why Jesus came to the lost and sick….not the whole and self-sufficient (Luke 19, Matthew 18)…to heal the wounds they knew they had. The hurts and the pain they were bearing….the agony that, sometimes, no one but God and themselves knew about because they were so good at hiding it.
Don’t live a lie. Don’t become someone else for the sake of another person or thing. Don’t pretend to have it all together. It is easy to show the face you want others to see. But that doesn’t heal, does it? That doesn’t erase the loneliness or the pain, aye? That doesn’t take away the fact that your family member or friend died recently or that you separated paths from the love of your life or that your will to keep going has been decreasing….steadily….for years now.
You will never escape hurt in this life. If you grow bitter at it you will only make it worse. Hatred does not defeat the dark, for it was born there. Give yourself some grace today…..accept that you are hurting. Allow yourself to grieve. Vent to God. Say the words and the feelings and tell Him what you do not understand. And ask Him to wrap you in His Love.
That is where you can finally begin to heal and rest. In Jesus Christ’s Love. So take a small breath, allow yourself to exhale slowly….and rest.