Nice to have met you.

I’m dead. You might be confused. It’s understandable.

But I’m the dead version of you.

That’s me.

And right now, you are looking at me with envy.

Wishing it would all go away and somehow still come back.

I’m so sorry.  I’m so, so sorry, my friend. I know you have loved the darkness;

I recognize you’re not sure if you do anymore or not.

I was your friend when I was alive. I was your twin hated self before you killed me.

But even now, I honestly don’t hate you.

I just want you to know that the choice was with you as to whether or not you would actually kill yourself. Because I didn’t really have a choice in the matter – you see, I was only the result of whatever perspective you decided to take.

If you chose to love me, then you wouldn’t kill me; but you didn’t realize I could be your friend, or I suppose if you did, then it didn’t matter much. I’m hurt, of course – doesn’t rejection hurt? If we expect others to hurt after rejection, then why do we not expect to feel it when we reject ourselves?

i love you friend. i wish you could see that. but love was only there because Someone else loved you and me first. but for His love, i could not have loved you, simply because you hated me enough to kill me. You are hard to love, i know.

there are tears friend but i no longer exist. in killing me you killed yourself. all those youtubes and google results you searched about trying not to feel anything? it resolves nothing in the end. you try to solve nothing with nothing. you only kill yourself and then i become a ghost. why a ghost? because a ghost exists in the what-could-have-been, not the what-is.

so please, please, please – looking back, i can see that your time is not here yet and contrary to whatever is said of men or tales – i don’t care whatever religious book says so – you were not “born to die.” so please please please –

i’m begging you –

don’t kill yourself.

don’t hate yourself.

you’re are so beautiful and you have so much to live for –

maybe not in the world or time you are in right now –

but because i’m here pleading with you –

because maybe if you get this message,

you can realize you are not alone.




look at me as a friend because i am not the enemy.

and the one who created you – you hate Him because you’ve been lied to. and i know this, that you cannot hate everything that has resulted from Goodness and love the Good itself.

please friend –

please –

you are loved by Someone

who Loves you for EXACTLY who you are because of Who He is –

and you are loved by me because of Who He made me to be.



please –

don’t kill yourself.



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