I wish you could see the view from here.
It’s not so high as it is grand,
because, broken mortal that I am,
I have not reached the top.
It’s quite stunning,
in a calming, relieving, beautiful way,
on the other side of the valley.
You hate me, I know,
for in some ironic way,
I hate you too but
have fallen in love with your lies.
You convince me that failure
marks my future with certainty;
guilt is a weapon of choice for you.
Not that it’s unfounded –
I know I’m not enough.
And my walls to the outside world
are caving in upon me
because they were forged with darkness.
A failing fortress can provide no strength;
a solid one, all of it.
So I suppose you and I
must consider this shell of a home
And I am learning
“I can face what I hate”
is not so powerful as
“I can face what hates me” –
because of Love.
You’re afraid to trust people
because people have hurt you.
But you have not disarmed me –
I have hurt myself
because I trusted you.
You tell me,
“People say they love you
and then, in the end, they fall.
And perhaps all that is true.
Perhaps, that is why,
when you turn a white face towards me,
liquid fear melting from terrified eyes,
I say, shaking, that I cannot help you.
I am turning my back to you
for the last time
so that you will look beyond me
to Someone who can
never abandon me
– to brave your lonely storm alone,
Who will never give up on me.